Gary Johnson and William Weld are going to be participating in a CNN Town Hall hosted by Anderson Cooper tonight, and while I have strongly supported the Johnson/Weld ticket against the backdrop of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, I would be remiss if I didn't at least try to depict the other side of the discussion.
So I have developed this list of 16 solid reasons why you shouldn't vote for Gary Johnson (including some which explain why they shouldn't be allowed in the Presidential Debates).
1. Both Democrats and Republicans have shown that they are perfectly capable of governing our country without need for a third party.
If the last 35 years have taught us anything, it's that the two major parties know how to operate harmoniously for the good of the people.
2. When dealing with two extreme civic philosophies, compromise and middle-ground are rarely helpful.
Who would want to live in a world that tried to break people up into more groups than just "Us" and "Them"? That's crazy talk.
3. The goal of elections is to get one party or the other in control of all branches of government. Libertarians would only mess that up.
We don't need no stinking checks and balances.
4. The world needs to hear more of what Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have to say about each other.
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of civilized political dialogue. I wish they'd tell us how they really feel already. If we could only get them on social media...
5. Mainstream media, in general, can be trusted to provide us with all options and perspectives, and they are merely leaving Johnson out as a benefit to us.
I mean, what else would their motivation be to leave out a third party candidate from most national polls, especially when those polls are the test of whether or not a third party candidate is allowed to debate? Save the conspiracy theories, the media is just looking out for us.
6. Both Trump and Clinton can be trusted to defend and uphold the Constitution of the United States of America.
Let's be real - you don't need to read it to get the gist.
7. Either Trump or Clinton would make a responsible and trustworthy Commander-In-Chief of the United States Military and guardian of its secrets.
How hard could it be? I mean honestly.
8. Lawyers like Clinton and tycoons like Trump understand the American way much more so than an avid outdoorsman, triathlete, Ironman, cyclist and mountain climber like Johnson.
Who hasn't hiked Everest, Elbrus, Denali, Kilimanjaro, Aconcagua, Vinson, and the Carstensz Pyramid? Come back when you've really accomplished something with your life, Gary.
9. Clinton and Trump, at 68 and 70 respectively, are facing retirement and need more money in the form of taxpayer-funded presidential pension plans.
We need to take care of our elderly. Social Security just ain't what it once was. I pity the thought of either of them having to tap into their retirement accounts.
10. Both Bill Clinton and Melania Trump are champions of moral fiber and will represent our country's family values well.
Come to think of it, I think it would be good to get those two together behind closed doors for afternoon tea sometime.
11. Dr. James Dobson didn't write a brief and vague endorsement of the rumor of the possibility of his conversion.
If Dr. Dobson isn't willing to go on record about Johnson's Lutheran faith, it doesn't exist. Obviously.
12. Balancing budgets simply isn't the American way.
We need a president who is personally familiar with either bankruptcy or hedge fund management ... hopefully both.
13. When trying to elect a president based on "making history", we should use gender, race, and having no political experience to speak of as criteria.
Third party candidates to the back of the line.
14. Who in their right mind would elect as president someone who, until this election cycle, hadn't hardly been heard of by anyone.
What's next? A community organizer?
15. Johnson holds a personal belief that prostitution is safer when it is legal and regulated.
Infinitely worse morally than owning a strip-club, or a casino in Vegas that accommodates prostitutes, and certainly worse than a candidate who prostitutes themselves to corporations in exchange for votes.
16. People love Income Taxes. And Property Taxes. And Sales Tax. And Taxes on Use. And Consumption Tax.
Reducing individual taxes is a terrible idea. It's the Federal Government that's having a hard time putting a roof over its citizens' heads, putting food in its citizens' mouths, paying its bills, its debts or its employees. The government needs our help.
That last one wasn't sarcastic. Just sad. Very sad.
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