Rob Bell Ruined My Evening...

I find myself haunted tonight. But it's not by any of the unfortunate folks at peopleofwalmart.com (beware if you click, you may end up haunted too). And it's not because I went out and rented Saw 17: Jigsaw goes to Cancun. It's because I finished reading a book, and something the author wrote caught me off guard. Almost like a sucker-punch of the soul.

The book is Velvet Elvis. The author is Rob Bell, pastor of Mars Hill Church. Now this particular entry isn't going to be a book review. That may come later. This is about just one statement that is still rocking my world. Before I get to what he said, let me go back briefly to explain why this book even found itself on my shelf.

I serve as an assisting pastor in a church, and as such I have friends that are pastors also. One of them asked me, "What do you think about the Emerging Church Movement?" I had never heard the term. The tone of the question was negative and almost indignant, so I asked about it. They hooked me up with a few websites, and I was intrigued, because from the Evangelical mainstream voice, the Emerging Church was almost being labeled as a threat, and Rob Bell was one of their chief "heretics." I watched a few anti-videos on YouTube and was even more intrigued, so I did what anyone in my position ought to. I bought his books. Velvet Elvis was one of the books. After all, you can only learn so much from spliced text with musical backgrounds on YouTube. For a people as opinionated as the church seems to be, we should have to be the most well-read community on the face of the planet... I digress...

The statement is in the last chapter. I'll give it to you plain:

"Most of the messages we receive (as Christians) are about how to make life easier. The call of Jesus goes the other direction: it's about making our lives more difficult. It is going out of our way to be more generous and disciplined and loving and free. It is refusing to escape and become numb to and check out of this broken, fractured world." (emphasis added)

I can't get past that last statement, because it's right where I live. Even as a pastor, even having gone to Bible College, I find myself more interested in finding varied ways (TV, video games, heck even social media) to escape from the world around me because in a not-so-small way, I've lost the faith to believe that God can make a difference in that world using my life. That's hard to admit, but I knew at once I had to admit it. I have to own it. I have to throw up my hands and say, "You're right, God, that's me. I checked out." I can't tell you why. I can't even tell you what I'm going to do next. But at least I know where I am, and that's a start.

The position I'm in has the words of Debbye Graafsma , renowned worship song writer and Christian counselor, echoing in my heart. She has said that life isn't about success, it's about congruency. It's about being the same, inside and out. It's about letting what is at the core of who you were created to be set the pace for the person you appear to be, not the opposite way around.

I know where I am. But I know where I want to be, and I'm taking the first steps in that direction. I'm not writing this to try and tell anyone how to get there themselves. Rather, I'm writing to invite other people along who may find themselves on the same point of the map that I am: checked out, numb, and not even knowing how they got there, but wanting to go back.

If anyone has been down this road, I'd welcome your comments and contributions. I'm sure a lot of other people would too.