Before You Vote for Trump, There's Something You Should Know...

As the primary season has dragged on, a rumor has been catching on like wildfire.

"Donald Trump is the eventual nominee. It's going to happen." 

And I don't know, there's a part of me that just doesn't like this kind of forecasting. It sounds a lot like the Borg: "YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE." And despite my own feelings on the subject (read: repulsion), like any honest trend analyst, I decided to crunch the numbers and see if it was true. So I sat down one day and compiled as much data as I could for the primaries and caucuses that have happened so far. And you know what I learned?

There is nothing eventual about Donald Trump. And in a General Election against Hillary Clinton (his ACTUALLY EVENTUAL opponent), he would lose, and lose badly. Truth be told, the only thing that can win the nomination for Trump is the bold faced lie that it's already his. But don't take my word for it. Let's look at the numbers. (Pulled from politico). 

37 - That's the number of states who have held primaries or caucuses for either or both parties.

34 - The number of republican primaries or caucuses as of the date of this publication.

20 - The number of states Trump has "won". 

1 - The number of states Trump has won with a majority of votes. Hint, it was New York, his home state. 

19 - The number of states Trump won with a plurality.

That last number should interest you. Why? Because it shows that the leading front runner isn't Donald Trump, but instead is his arch nemesis, "Anyone but Trump". Truth be told, Donald Trump hasn't even won close to half of the Republican votes. Here are those numbers:

23 million - Total votes cast in Republican Primaries

8.7 million - People who have voted for Trump

14.2 million - people who have voted for "Anyone but Trump".

Let that sink in for a second. Nearly 2/3 of the Republican votes cast have been for someone other than Trump. Sure, you could say the same for the other Republican Candidates, except for one thing: He's the front runner. He has the delegate lead, and has for a long time. If there was ever a bandwagon to jump on, it's his. And yet 2/3 of voters from the Republican camp have voted for one of the other "losers", as he calls them. Cruz has won plenty of states, and Kasich annihilated Trump in Ohio.  Oh, and they both got more votes in their home states than he did in NY. 

And while we're on the subject of things The Donald has said, I want to touch briefly on his accusation that the system is rigged. As with everything else in Trump's campaign, this statement is all smoke & mirrors. How else could a man get 2/3 of the delegates with only 1/3 of the votes? The system, that rigged system, is the only reason he still has a campaign. 

Let's look at how things should look for a nominee that is actually winning the primaries. Let's look at Hillary's numbers:

37 - The number of states who have held primaries and/or caucuses

34 - The number of Democratic Contests

18 - The number of states Hillary has won

17 - The number of states Hillary has won with a majority of votes.

18.4 Million - The number of votes in Democratic Primaries and Caucuses

10.4 Million - The number of votes for Hillary

8 Million - The number of votes for Anyone but Hillary

Those numbers are what winning looks like. Now I'm far from a Hillary supporter, but when you talk about someone winning their party's nomination, this is what it should look like. And when Bernie Sanders concedes, he will encourage his supporters to back Hillary to make sure a Trump presidency never happens. And she already has more votes than Trump does. Come November, she will win in a LANDSLIDE, and he'll spend the following months tweeting about the unfairness of it all. After all, she got more than double the votes he did in New York, and as he said recently, "If you can't win New York, you don't belong here."

So before you head to the polls today, remember: if you're voting for Trump, you're in the minority. If you're voting for Anyone but Trump, you're in the majority, and as Donald would say, "It's not even close". A contested convention is the surest way to make sure the majority of voters aren't "robbed" by the "corrupt system". Most Republicans want someone other than Trump. Do yourself and everyone else a favor: vote against Trump.

Christian Men and Christian Grey

Unless you're just coming out of winter hibernation, you will have noticed that the Internet has been abuzz this week leading up to the cinematic premier of 50 Shades of Grey on Valentine's Day. In particular, the entire Christian blogosphere has dusted off its collective megaphone on the subject; Matt Walsh, adam4d, and a host of others have spoken out in vehement opposition to the movie, while others still have called for a boycott. (This frenzy is only surpassed by the stampede of women from all walks of life eager to see this book series come to life on the silver screen.)

I will not be adding to that rallying cry.

Instead, I want to post a response to a blog posted by Becky on scissortailsilk.com called Christian Women and Christian Grey. I posted it to my Facebook profile because I feel it eloquently communicates the root issue behind the allure this movie has, even among Christian women: marital monotony and loneliness. If you haven't yet read her blog, please do. I benefitted a great deal from it.

After having read Becky’s post, a question rolled around in my heart on my drive home: “If I found out that my own wife went to see 50 Shades, how would I respond?”

Now before I launch into the answer, I feel it is important to make a crucial distinction that is largely missing in this very public conversation: the difference between “should” and “will/did”. Everyone in Christendom is declaring whether they feel women should see the movie. The odd thing about the word “should” is that it is a concept word. It denotes idealism, morality and ethical preference. I personally hate the word, because it has simultaneous power to both challenge and condemn, and is hard to control in that way. I would go so far as to speculate that more Christian women live in bondage to the word “should” than to actual sexual bondages like pornography, unhealthy fantasies or extramarital affairs. And yes, the play on words was intended, because I guess I’m just clever like that.

The other words, “will/did” are words of action. “Will” speaks to mental and emotional decisions. When someone says “I will do this or that”, they are saying they've come to a decision about their future action in light of or in spite of what they should do. Then saying “I did or didn't do this or that”, they reveal that they followed through on that decision. These words are infinitely more important than “should”. Why? Because the human will is more unruly than our moral/ethical compasses. After all, Christian men who are addicted to porn know that they shouldn't watch it, but that doesn't stop them from doing it. Strong morals, weak wills.

So should Christian women watch 50 Shades of Grey (or anyone for that matter)? I personally don't think so. I think it's monumental when the feminist movement and the evangelical movements agree on ANY SUBJECT. No, I don't think anyone should see this movie, and I'm not alone in that opinion. But honestly … Who cares? Do we really need to jump in the ring for another round of moral debate to determine who's right and who's wrong? How does that benefit anyone? How does that help your or my marriage?

So back to the premise question: What would I do if I found out my own wife saw 50 Shades?

 

Love her.

 

And I'm recommending and even imploring other Christian men to do the same with their wives.

Why? Well that starts to get to the heart of the matter. As Becky pointed out, many women are attracted to the 50 Shades fantasy because of a lack in their own marriages. Lack of intimacy. Lack of exhilaration. Lack of spontaneity. Lack of communication. Lack of love. And while those things aren’t excuses to watch 50 Shades any more than it is an excuse for men to sneak away to watch porn on their computers, it’s still an issue that must be addressed. 50 Shades of Grey isn’t a cure for boring marriages, or rather, the inherent boringness of marriage.

“Should she see it?” If I’m asking that question, I’m missing the point as a husband. Better to ask “Why does she want to see it?” or “What is she looking for from the movie that she doesn’t feel she has in our marriage?” It’s a hard question to ask, because it assumes that I’m not giving my wife something she needs. But what is that? Is it intimacy? Romance? Trust? Spontaneity? Love? And once I ask myself those hard questions, do I have the courage to ask her and really listen to the answer?

(Just to clarify, so as not to inspire any vitriol towards my wife, we’ve talked about this. She doesn’t want to see the movie because she knows the emotional impact it will have on her. This isn’t airing out our issues in full view of the public. This is a challenge to men to do what WE can to keep this movie from driving a wedge in our marriages, whether our wives see it or not. Even if you’re repulsed by the idea of the movie, its cultural prominence provides a great opportunity to examine our own hearts and actions regarding our wives.)

Gentlemen, the bottom line is this: if we’re loving our wives as Christ loves the Church, they won’t want to go to this or any other movie looking to feed a fantasy. Lust doesn’t hold a candle to true love. Christian Grey pales in comparison to a Christian husband who is committed to cherishing his wife. If you’re assertive, adventurous, available and vulnerable in the bedroom, she’s not going to care what Christian Grey does in his.

So I fully agree with Becky, just from the other side of the coin. Let’s take back sex, and in so doing, take back marriage. Let’s stop focusing on this movie and start focusing on how to satisfy, love, cherish and protect our wives when they’re with us. The Apostle Paul understood this, and he wasn’t even married. Lots of sex = little temptation to stray. Little sex = lots of temptation to stray. It’s not difficult math. So if you’re wife is planning on going to see 50 Shades, rather than protesting or condemning, why not give her a reason to stay home with you instead? Surely there’s more incentive being the wife in your bedroom than there is in merely being a fly on the wall of Christian Grey’s play room. Surely you can write for her a love story with your life and time that surpasses the one that happens in ink or on the screen between Christian and Ana.

Not sure how? Try asking. Just a thought.

The Early Church Fathers: Clement

This week, I came into possession of a book set that I've wanted ever since my first freshman year (yes, that's right, I said first; there were 3) at Bible College. The Early Church Fathers set is almost 20,000 pages, 38 volumes, and spans the first few centuries of the early Christian Church. And now, it is my own ... my love ... my precious.

Since I can't foresee many of you rushing out to buy your own set, even if you ARE jealous (and you should be), I wanted to publish some of my thoughts on their writings here.

The first tome is a letter from Clement to the church in Corinth, penned some time between 40-100 AD. Right off the bat, I was surprised how similar (yet not the same) the text was to Scripture. Paul wrote 1 and 2 Corinthians, and I thought this might read like 3 Corinthians. In prose and in structure, it does, but there is a distinct lack of authority as compared to the former texts. If anyone questions the inspiration of the Scriptures, I'd recommend reading Paul's epistles and then Clement. You'll see what I'm saying. Here are a few observations on the first reading...

• Clement knew his Bible: Clement spends a great deal of time relating the conflicts in their church to situations that happened in scripture. He quotes from the Law, the Prophets, Psalms, Proverbs, and even the New Testament BEFORE IT WAS CALLED THE NEW TESTAMENT. I was amazed  and inspired to read more of my own Bible. This should serve as a direct contradiction to current undergrad Bible scholars who use Wikipedia to fill out their papers. Just sayin'.
• Church splits have ALWAYS been ugly: in 1 Corinthians, Paul writes to believers who are arguing with each other and are engaged in unbecoming immorality. In 2 Corinthians, Paul writes to give instruction as to how to restore those who were removed from the church on account of their immorality. In Clement's letter, he writes to choose hospitality and humility whenever possible, to give honor to the pastors/presbyters, and to remove themselves from fellowship if they couldn't stop being a source of contention. If I were ever to assist in a church on the verge of splitting, this would be required reading for both/all parties.
• Clement speaks of an Egyptian fable, the Pheonix, as though it is a veritable fact, and uses it to illustrate that nature reminds us of the coming resurrection. While reading, I had what I could only describe as a "one of these things is not like the others" moment. I can see why this one didn't make the cut for canonization. 

20 pages down, 1000 times that to go. Bring it on.

Now That the Polls Are Closed...

Well congratulations! You've done your civic duty ... you've voted in this year's NC Primary. Either you REALLY LOVE the democratic process, or you came out because you have strong feelings about Amendment 1. If you voted FOR Amendment 1, to you it signifies that you are willing to take a stand for the sanctity of marriage between one man and one woman. Well since you stood in line, put your name on the line, and filled in the circle, you made it official that you're willing to do what it takes to ensure that the institution of marriage be protected, come liberals, hell, or high water.

 I'm so glad you took a stand! Are you ready to stay standing? You see, marriage isn't something that is protected by a single law, or even a series of laws. It isn't kept sacred by just it's definition being included on the state constitution. It is kept sacred by those to whom it has been given, as a sacred trust from the One who gave it in the first place, and Who therefore asks that it be stewarded in a manner that is worthy of His Name. So here are 5 tangible things you can do to do EVEN MORE for marriage than simply voting.

1) Drop the "D" Word
The divorce rate is as high in the church as it is anywhere else. The absolute first step toward safeguarding the institution of marriage is to stay married. It seems there is a plethora of acceptable reasons to get a divorce these days, and very few are grounds to actually proceed. This isn't a slam against those who have been divorced. It is a call to remember that the same Bible which identifies marriage as being between one man and one woman also vehemently states that marriage is a permanent covenant, and should only be abandoned as the exception and not the rule.

2) Keep it Clean 
I'm mostly talking to the menfolk reading this. Dude, seriously, drop the porn. It's a distortion of what sex is, it messes up your brain function, and ruins your ability to take joy in the things that make marriage awesome. You shouldn't want your wife to act like a pornstar, you should pray for pornstars to be loved as much as you love your wife. Addiction is a bear. Help is available.

3) Keep it Close
If you haven't yet realized that extra-marital affairs are a bigger threat to the institution and sanctity of marriage than homosexuality, you aren't paying attention. To seek sex outside of marriage is to vote "AGAINST" Marriage in the arena of everyday life, and people take notice. Don't just try to make your mark in an election year. Make your mark in all of your circles, showing that husbands and wives can, with grace and discipline, keep from straying.

4) Scrap the Tabloids
HOLLYWOOD (for the most part) HAS ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHAT MARRIAGE IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE. I'm really sorry, but it's a valid claim ... why can Kim K get married, make a mockery of what marriage should be, and then get divorced only to do it all over again? Imagine you are a member of the gay community, wanting to be married, and watching that. Seem a bit inconsistent with our standard of marriage? I think so. $50 to the Congressman that first introduces a Kardashian Marriage Ban. Who cares which actress married which producer? Stop paying attention to the attention mongers.

5) Stand for Others
You are surrounded by friends and family that need help in their marriage. They need encouragement. They need a cheering section. They need someone to tell them they're wrong when they're wrong. Marriage does not exist in a vacuum, and isn't something that everyone should be expected to learn 100% by experience. If your marriage is successful, AWESOME. Share the wealth. Help other people be successful in their marriages. It doesn't take Dr. Phil to fix some issues. Some people simply need advice, and someone to point them in the right direction. If you really believe the Bible is the instruction manual on Marriage, whip out out more often than elections.

 I'm committed to each and every one of these things. My wife is also. If you voted FOR NC Amendment 1, shouldn't you?

The Most Embarrasing Thing My Wife's Ever Seen Me Do...

As my Aunt Mary so perfectly put, God has a sense of humor.

As the older of two in my family, I have the supreme honor of being able to tell embarrassing stores about my younger brother without any fear of retribution. I often share, when the subject comes up, how terrified my little bro is of any kind of flying bug. Flies, bees, even mosquitoes. I stretch out and then demonstrate the "Andrew Flail." I'm sure you've seen me do it before, and if not, just ask.

After telling the story and doing the move for my Aunt & Uncle, I headed home after a long day. As is our routine, I let the dogs out the back door to relieve themselves. When I opened the door, several moths were startled and flew around our exterior floodlights. I didn't want to have to round them up later, so I reached for the screen door, and then it happened.

Have you ever seen a cicada killer? If the hairs on your neck aren't standing up right now, you definitely haven't. They look like this. Bugs are definitely biggest in the south. Well as I was closing the screen door, one buzzed past my head and into my house.

As it turns out, I am not scared of flying insects. Instead, I am mortally terrified of huge flying insects. That is the only explanation I can offer for the reactions that followed.

I started screaming. I might have swore a few times. Rachel, who was changing in the bedroom asked what happened. I screamed back at her to stay in the bedroom. She asked why. I yelled "A Cicada Killer just flew in our house!". So she came out to investigate. Did I ever mention my wife is fearless? She grew up in Indiana, so it figures...

I had lost sight of the monster and immediately found the biggest magazine I could and rolled it up to defend myself. This, as it turns out, was a terrible, terrible mistake.

So we moved slowly around the living room trying to find it before it found us. And then it took flight. It flew from the couch, up to the ceiling and over the fan. I backed up against the wall and immediately started to panic and scream. Rachel asked "Where is it" and I immediately shouted back "ARE YOU SERIOUS? IT'S ENORMOUS!!!"

Well it flew down between the blades of the ceiling fan, hovered about a foot off the ground, and then made a B-Line (no pun intended) for me. I swatted as hard as I could ... One ... Two ... Three times, never connecting once. And then it landed. On me. More specifically, on my ... zipper area.

I backed up into the wall and shouted at the top of my lungs, tried to brush it off, and then I swung again ... One ... Two ... Three times (breaking the standing lamp next to me in the process), never connecting with the insect once. I did, however, connect all three times ... with my zipper area. The pain caused me to drop the unfortunately heavy magazine on the ground. The wasp flew down to the carpet and landed. My fearless wife ran over, grabbed the magazine, and then pounded the critter into the carpet. She then dropped the magazine, picked up her sandal and continued to beat the bug until she was sure it was dead.

I hope that you, the reader, take the following lessons away from this tragic and painful story:

1) Be nice to your siblings.
2) Don't make fun of the fears of others.
3) Only grab the lightest periodical available when dispatching household insects.

What Disc Golf Taught Me About Christianity this Week...

I play disc golf. Yes, it's a sport. No, you may not judge me.

There are some pretty amazing courses here in Charlotte, so I get to play without having to travel too far. This year, I decided I wanted to get more distance out of my drives, so I practiced a different grip. Yes, there are different grips. Shut up.

Ever since I started playing, I have used a control grip for everything ... drives, mid-range and putts. That resulted in more control, but less distance. So this year, I'm changing to a power grip. As the name implies, there is more power, but less control.

So I went out to Killborne Park here in Charlotte, and I made the decision to switch to the power grip. And something odd happened...

The third time I went to drive off the tee, mid throw, MY HAND switched from a power grip to the control grip. At first I was surprised, then confused, and then angry. How dare my own hand disobey ME! It's MY hand!

The problem is, that's what I trained it to do. Out of sheer muscle memory, my hand simply did what it has always done. Regardless what I wanted it to do, it was going to try to go on auto-pilot and throw the way I learned to throw. Unlearning is a frustrating process.

I'm convinced the soul has a "muscle memory" too. It's in this place that Christian disciplines like prayer, personal worship and devotional time become essential. If you teach your soul to live with them, eventually they will become auto-pilot. But if you teach your soul to live without them, don't be surprised when your soul argues with you to do something different. And the thing of it is, you can't even really get mad, because it's just doing what you trained it to do...

A Bit of Honesty

I don't blog very often. It's for a variety of reasons, but it's something I want to change. I happen to like blogging. I've run into a few roadblocks, so this post is an attempt to clear the air and move right past them.

First of all, I spend too much time deliberating about how I should come across in each post. "What do I want these readers to think about me?" Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but despite how I try, I'm not a philosopher. I'm not a political analyst. I'm not a successful businessman.

What I am is a 30 year old pastor and husband who went through some very trying times (including a church split), lost all interest in the church as a whole, went through a period of depression, and then came out of it with the help of an amazing wife and a loving, gracious, and patient church. So when I write, that's what you're going to get. That's my filter. That's my history. And if I live as though it never happened, then the lessons I learned during that time would be wasted. So no more denial. I hope that's cool with you.

Moving on.

Also, because I'm a perfectionist, long blogs are exhausting. Revising. Linking. Fact-checking. I have 10 great blog ideas, but the thought of them is completely debilitating, because I feel like I have to get them perfect. Well I don't. So my blogs are going to be shorter and to the point.

So here's to short & to the point...